Since I’ve been having trouble sleeping, I decided to try doing a little more (or at least keep doing). So I’m doing at least 1 chore each day.

Yesterday, I took care of all the shoes all over the house. Out-of-season or rarely-worn shoes are in the new shoe-cubbies in the basement. Flats and some of my fanciest shoes are in my closet. Sneakers and a couple of booties are in the coat closet. I also washed all the dirty white clothing we have in the house – 3 loads! I also chose a dress and jewelry for next Friday’s black-tie-optional dinner (which I didn’t know was dress-necessitatingly dressy until last night).

Today I stopped at Target for something very simple: one prescription, as well as a wrap and clutch with a color that popped (wound up being scarlet) and black hose. I was there for 2 hours and then in traffic (mostly in the parking lot) for another half-hour. I got batteries for the last of the holiday decorations, a belt, shapewear, some socks that actually fit, Pepsi, gift-wrapping paraphernalia, etc. When I got home, I put stuff away, finished decorating, tried on the shapewear and belt (looked better without), and was absolutely exhausted. I wound up falling asleep before Peter got home briefly before he went to play Magic: The Gathering. I woke up 3 hours later, but now I worry I won’t sleep at bedtime (although I must say my neck and head hurt like all heck).

Now the question is, am I being inactive enough? I mean, I need to take it easy so that I can get better, but I do need to do enough that I sleep at night. Plus, did you see that list I wrote?! There’s so very, very much, that doing one thing each weekday still won’t get everything done AND each thing only takes roughly an hour AND doing these things both removes stress from my life and keeps me from going stir crazy. So am I really doing that much? Maybe I should ask that on an evening when I’m hurting a little less…

Today I woke up and showered and dressed, then came downstairs to be shouted at by Stewie. Or, more appropriately, he shouted at me and then shouted at the doorway to the kitchen and back again. Apparently, he viewed the kitchen to be unsafe. It quickly became clear that there was water dripping from the ceiling, just inside the door, next to where the bath tub above is. A plumber visited and informed me that it will cost $3000 to repair it (well, $2800, but I assume something extra will be needed). Goody. Luckily, I was already planning on making a call to get some money from my nest egg, and now when we sell we can say we have an updated master bath.

In the time between calling the plumber and seeing him, I stayed quite busy. Remember all those gifts that I ordered on Saturday? Well, they’ve started to come in… Each in its own box. So far, I’ve received all the pet gifts (4 cats and 2 dogs), my older brother’s gift, the gift for my brother-in-law-in-law, and 1 gift for Peter.

So what did I do? I opened and checked all the packages and then created an Excel spreadsheet detailing what I ordered and for whom, where I ordered each item from, where they were being delivered, and whether they have been received. I also tracked down Stewie and put the anti-stress collar on him that had arrived with the pet gifts, as well as plugging in the anti-stress room diffuser for cats.

Yeah, I’m totally normal.

Anyways, today’s goal was to Deck the Tree (which was still up from last year, but not decorated). There were a huge number of boxes surrounding the Christmas tree, so I checked their contents and set them aside as either basement-ready or garbage. Then, I got a tree skirt and star from JCPenney at 60% off and put up many of the ornaments I’d ordered last year. Peter’s reaction, when asked? It looks fine. Ahhhh, 3 hours of hard work paid off.

So, the result of today’s hard work: you can see and appreciate the tree, but the kitchen is a disaster. We have boxes everywhere. I feel like we’re drowning in them. Most of that is because we have nowhere to put my stuff. So, do I take all my stuff and just throw them in my room until I’m ready to deal with my room, or do I clean my room and then clean the kitchen?  The latter makes more sense, but the former immediately helps both my husband and myself and our quality of life. So guess which one I’ll start doing tomorrow…

I promised my doctor that I would begin posting a journal entry every day, at least monitoring my wellness: depression, anxiety, pain, tiredness/energy, level of activity, and WW points consumed. So I will begin doing that as soon as possible. I’ve only just started looking for a good widget for WordPress.

Unfortunately, yesterday afternoon I was busy getting my interim grades in. They were makeshift, classwork-only grades, but that is all I could do in one night and all I am legally permitted to do as of this morning. With help from my husband, I was able to grade everything done with the subs (that had been collected) and thus grades were in and I went to bed before 1am.

So, the first weight off my mind is this: grades are in and I am not legally allowed to worry or dabble in work except, perhaps, to check my email.

What else is up? Well, Christmas is around the corner. Literally. So, on Saturday, I procrastinated grading by attacking Amazon.com, Overstock.com, and Novica.com to get gifts for: 2 parents, 2 parents-in-law, 2 brothers (+1 birthday), 2 sisters-in-law, 1 half-sister, 1 brother-in-law-in-law,  1 niece (+birthday), 2 nephews (+ 1 birthday), 1 close friend, 4 cats, 2 dogs, and 1 for the family gift exchange. I also stuck to only 4 presents (under $100 total) for my husband and kept everyone else under $20 per present.

So, the second weight off my mind is that I am done holiday gift-shopping.

The most important weight off my mind, however, is the most major concern I’d been having earlier: the d-word. After an awkward Saturday morning, I spoke with my husband and discovered he had no clue what he had actually said when we’d talked that fateful evening. He reassured me that yes, of course, he sometimes feels trapped. That’s natural. He still feels that we need couple’s counseling, but does not feel ready to discuss separation. We are both going to work hard to be a real couple and share each other’s lives. My getting a life, and having the energy to do things and be a helpmate rather than just a burden, will be a part of that. We even made love in the middle of the night last night, for the first time in waaaaay too long (well over a month) and I don’t plan for it to be the only time this week

So the third and final weight is that my husband and I are working on our marriage/partnership, rather than working on a separation.

Of course, out with the old, in with the new… Now that those weights left my shoulders, a few hovering birds have perched:

1. Finances and paperwork: it will take time, but I can help it out by slowly chipping away at it, doing what I can when I can, cutting out some costs and dipping into the money that has recently been regained in my nest egg. I’ll soon be cutting-out my cell’s data plan and my laptop wireless-anywhere connection and shopping at the supermarket regularly so we eat out far, far less.
2. Combatting depression: I’m going to have to set goals for each day and rules, such as only allowing myself 2 hrs of TV before 4pm. This will include a list of choices of recreational activities and a HUGE checklist of small tasks I can do with minimal pain, and forcing myself to do at least 1 task each day. Tomorrow, the task is to uncover and decorate the Christmas tree. I will also see my doctors regularly and remember to shower, dress, and take my AM meds as soon as I wake up.
3. Getting healthy: I will be using the WiiFit, other active Wii games, “Sit and Be Fit” DVD, or taking walks every single day – at least 30 minutes of activity in groups no smaller than 10 minutes. I will eat within my daily points allowance. I will chew gum or drink no-points, no-caffeine beverages when I feel an urge to nosh.

I’d like to set a routine for myself, but I don’t want to feel obligated to sleep more/less than I feel the need to on any particular day or set myself up for failure, so a list of tasks to check off and required activities seems to be the best bet.